(Water) Crush that !

I know your name , your occupation , I've seen you only twice in person but I see you in my mind daily. You visit me when I sleep. I dream of you . How you would be with me. Your touch,scent and , caress. I make up conversations and corny jokes (because I like a corny joke every now and  again)you tell .   I imagine secret words with secret meanings that only we understand .  I don't want to get up because reality means that you are absent in my life in the manner I would like.

I read this over and start thinking of LL Cool J's "Hey Lover" featuring Boys II Men . The sample is from Michael Jackson 's " Lady in My Life " -Thinking how both songs apply. How LL"s song is his fantasy of a woman he barely knows but has a image of what she may be. I can identify with it. I am it. I think of Michaels song.How I would like to be the lady in his life . How Michaels soft Tenor melodic serenade warm my heart like I would like for you to warm mine.

I think these thoughts and  feel these feelings. Yet , I am  too afraid to do anything about it. Why ? he is apart of the big no-no . He works with me however, at a different site in a different location . Still , so many questions , insecurity , and negative self talk . How do I go about this ? Do I sit silently hoping and praying that he will contact me? Should I  make that move? Am I his type ? Is he what I imagined? Above all this , is he available ? I use this word available as opposed to single because there are many single men but how many are truly emotionally available? The questions. The tidal wave of questions. Crashing through my minds like lightning bolts crash the skies in a rain storm  . Its maddening . I sit hoping .  Hoping that a crush will be crushed in my mind and dissipate for it is too much for me to  think about . I don't have mental space or time for these thoughts . So you will be just a crush .