Fiyah

Fall's Back

So, about a week ago we all had to set our car clocks forward one hour for Daylight Saving Time.  I say car clocks because all of the other technological devices we use nowadays are set and ready to go for us when we awaken that Sunday morning.  When I was younger, I would never remember which way to set my clock when Daylight Saving Time rolled around, until the "Spring Forward, Fall Back" quote was learned.  Well, ladies and gents, Fall's Back.

A few days ago I told you about October.  October (the actually month) is the quintessential Fall month.  The changed leaves, the pumpkins, the squash soups with a dash of nutmeg.  I hate the cold, but I love the Fall. Well, last night October and I were hanging out (don't judge me) and for the first time EVER, he was open and honest about his feelings.  He wants me to be happy, and he realizes that I am an adult and will do what I want to do, but he's hurt.  For the first time, he expressed how much he liked me and that he never ruled out a relationship with me... he just feels that he can't put in 100% right now and it would be unfair to me.  I saw his leaves change from the staple emerald to shades of yellow, orange, and red.  It was amazing.

I must backtrack a bit.  Yesterday, during a texting session,  I told him the things I don't like about him and why I feel like we could never be together anyway.  When he arrived, he did all those things and more last night.  I'm extremely affectionate, and he matched my intensity.  When he spoke, it was so honest and raw,  I cried.  Tears streamed down my face and couldn't be stopped. His response?  He held me... tight.  He let the tears and emotion stream from my eyes (and nose, yuck) onto his shoulders and wouldn't let me go.  He kissed me with a kiss that sent a spiral of... I don't even know the word for it, but it was a whirlwind through my body.  It was at that moment (and I didn't let it be known to him) that I realize that I love him.

I'm in a state of confusion right now.  I'm in shock.  I need help.  Fall's Back.