He Got Cut ( Part II)

    He continued on to say that I did not have to worry about them. For sheer entertainment I continued to listen. He says that he has had his children. He goes on to say that he wanted to be “real” and if we talked we would have sex (though he used the more vulgar term). He  says, “ I don’t want to have a slip up and then you say  I’m pregnant  and then I say what do you want to do  and then I ask you what do you want to do  and then you say you don’t know and then I ask if you want to raise the baby with me  and  you say we don’t now one another that well”. He continues to babble for a few more seconds and I may have tuned him out and then he concludes with. “ So to avoid all of that, I had a vasectomy in 2010. WHAT!?   I  got up and I left. That was the most hilarious thing that has  ever happened at a surprise party.  When I left I laughed  and continued to laugh. I laughed on my way to the bathroom , laughed while I was in there ,  while I was fixing my hair and makeup , while washing my hands . When I came back I told my friend ans he is very lucky I did not know that many people that well.  I would have told EVERYONE !  Seriously , such entertainment is meant to be shared hence, me sharing to the world.

   I couldn’t  believe his nerve and tactless  banter. First of all ( yes  I’m going there ) ,  who told him that it was a good idea to give that much self-disclosure to a complete and total stranger?   For me  by him telling me that so soon , it meant that he wanted to have unprotected sex with me  no strings attached and soon.   To that I say Gross-Gross Mister.    Though I am young and  I am no angel ,  he was too open with his intentions for me and I was amused  because he thought this was going to work and disgusted.  Sign number one that he is  crazy. 

Secondly, who told you that I was giving you anything other than some time? -Arrogance.  Nothing wrong with a confident man but he  just KNEW  he was going to experience  what treasures Victoria’s secret shrouds . That is a turn off and again I say – gross . I have a problem with men assuming that I  am just going to give it up just because.  That bothers me to no end.

Lastly , how did  he know that I did not want any children. Which I do . Besides the fact that he had 2 kids which eliminated him  totally , he went on to obliterate his chances at even having a date with me by assuming that his procedure would  attract me to him .  At the end of this  story ,  all I can say is in the end he just didn’t make it- he got cut.  

He Got Cut ( Part I)

    I went to a surprise party   a few weekends ago.  I was sitting there in a room full of people that I did not know too well.  I then saw this guy. He was handsome, had a nice body and was well dressed.  The only problem was, he was with someone. Though embarrassed about it now, when I saw who he was with, I shook my head in disgust. I was so disappointed that he was with this girl who was not dressed; hair was not done and overall, was not me.  I was as they say “hating”.  I realized it a few moments later and I decided that it was a bad idea to do these things and if he was with her, it must be for a reason and looks aren’t everything.  I checked myself quickly and sat quietly until the guest of honor arrived along with his wife (who is one of my good friends).  I hugged them and said hello and talked with my friend as she walked by the guy and his girlfriend.  The girl asked me to take a picture of my friend and her.  As she was handing me the camera, the guy   took the camera and told me to get into the picture.  So I did.  I gave my best Colgate smile and posed.  The guy then wanted to take a picture with me and my friend.   I knew this wouldn’t be a good idea but me being the lady I am; I did not want to be rude – at least not yet.

   He got into the picture and handed the girlfriend the camera.  He posed in the middle of me and my friend and put his hands around our waists. After the picture was taken, he then told me how cute I was and that he worked in Maine and was in town visiting. He reported that he was in the NAVY and would be retiring next year. He offered to buy me a drink and wanted to give me his number. I asked about the girlfriend and he stated that they were just friends. I was confused.  I said I hope he was sure because I could not be arrested due to assault or having a fight as I had a very good job. 

He laughed. He   assured me that they were just friends. I took his number and went to enjoy the party. Then I sat next to the girl and saw that she seemed uncomfortable.  I said to myself that there is more to this story.  I then said to myself to try to eliminate him.  I asked him if he had any children.  He said he had two.  When he saw the horror on my face he should have stopped talking. Two children are too many. I wished my story ended here but it doesn’t

Nobody's Sleeping in Your Bed

So I finally thought I met someone normal , someone who knew what they wanted and was WILLING to do the work to be in a successful relationship.  He was older , polished and had that m-o-n-e-y . Now , as Kanye says in his song, I'm not saying shes a gold digger , but she  aint messing with no broke..... you know the rest .    Well , he was talking about me.

Getting back to the story ; So ,   he  seemed nice  and so  I overlooked the fact that his photos were about 10 years old and he was 30 lbs fatter than  what was presented his pictures.  I even overlooked the fact that he was  13 years older. Why? Well , I figured looks aren't everything  and  at least  I would have someone who was into me  -  Or so I thought . Well  we had 2 dates and I did not kiss him yet.  Yes , I know that is unheard of in the fast times we live in however, I wanted to take it slow.  Number one, he  was older, I know that I am looking for something real and also , I did meet him from an online dating site.  He could be a killer , rapist , or just a all around weirdo so,  didn't want to show any physical affection too soon. 

The third and final  date , I  went to his house and we hung out . Well , before I get there , I took the train  and I missed my stop because I did not know you had to be in a certain part of the train in order to get off at that stop. I called him  to let him know that I missed the stop. His reaction  was  " How the fuck did you miss the stop?"  and he yelled. Now, because I am working on how I speak to members of the opposite sex , before I  used my tongue as a razor , I thought about what the overall picture was. I said  to myslf so far I like him and this is his first real line that he crossed. I said to him  calmly   this is the first and last time I will tell you this.  Don't ever speak to me that way, I will not tolerate any disrespect. I proceeded to tell him  I could go home and I know he was  upset that I am not getting to him when he anticipated however the way he is communicating that was not productive. I told him what happened and explained that I did not want to intentionally miss the stop. He apologized and I was glad that I was able to keep my cool despite wanting to call him every name in the book , hurt his feelings and go back home.  Yay Me!


 So  I  got there watched tv and ate pizza. We didn't talk much because when law and order SVU re-runs are on tv on Sundays  I tend not to know anyone . I tried to ask him what he wanted to talk about but he offered nothing.  I finally kissed him and surprisingly, I felt something.  I was happy I did because it is rare that I do. It appeared as if he wanted more but , I didn't. He asked me to stay over but on a Sunday night in another state and having work the next day, staying over was not an option .  So I left .  I then called him from the train and he did not answer. He only texted me. The next morning because  I  enjoyed myself , I text him first. For  nearly a week he did not call or text  despite me trying to reach out.  Prior to this e would call and text every day several times a day. On day 5  (he must've saw two can play that game or something) he tells me that I need to change my mentality or I will be single forever and denies wanting to sleep with me before getting to know me .  I never mentioned that to him.  He is NUTS.

He then asks for another chance a week later claiming he did not want to lose me and telling me I was wonderful. HUH?! I'm so glad I did not sleep with him, hes a nut burger and 3/4 and now  I know why nobody is  sleeping in his bed.  NEXT!