Waiting In Vain II

We exchanged numbers and I waited for his call. We talked from time to time and text but he would not tell me where he worked and then I discovered he had two kids with 2 different women. I do not know why I even continued to entertain him. I’m lying, yes I do. He was GEORGEOUS!  Yes I’m superficial at times.  I didn’t see him again until a month after I met him at reggae night.  He always had something to do. Something was rotten in the state of Denmark.

  Whenever I had an issue or concern, he would somehow make it my fault.  In between the month that I spoke to him over the phone, I erased his number.  He on 3 occasions said he was going to do something and did not do it.  I mentioned it yet he found a way to make it my fault. He went on to say that a lot of women who are successful and have everything can’t find a man because they give up too easy.  I don’t know what his intention was in saying that was but, whether or not he knew it, that hurt. No seriously, I have been cursed out by a guy I was dating before, but that probably was one of the most hurtful things a man that I wanted to date ever said. I would and did not ever admit it to him, but I feel like he made it his business to hurt my feelings purposefully.  

  That was the issue with him, if he was late, didn’t show up, or didn’t call somehow he expected me to just “deal” with it.   It was always my issue or my fault for feeling in a way.  He always would assume I was lying or up to everything else because I could never remember what I told him.  I don’t remember what I say, I barely remember what I do which is why I write most things down. Not to mention, between working and going to school full time,  being a constant support to my family and friends and paying my bills, who has time to remember where I  was  or where I told you I was last week.  Seriously, grow up. All my free time is spent sleeping.  

Now, the final straw was when I went to his house. I guess that is standard that if I go to a man’s house, I’m supposed to just give it up.  This was I guess our second date. There were so many gaps in our time together that I just don’t remember. We were talking and he showed me pictures one of his children and we were having a good conversation. He then as I was in mid sentence kissed me. At this point, it wasn’t as heart melting but, he still was such a good kisser. We then went into the room and he immediately began to try to undress me.  For some reason, I hesitated. I just thought, there were so many reasons not to do this.  We hadn’t been anywhere in public, he had not one but 2 kids, he was still sketchy about where he worked and really anything. I froze. Now that I think about it that happens more than I would like. He told me that I should leave if I did not want to continue. I then walked out of the room, put my belt back on and got ready to leave. It gets fuzzy here but he did not want me to leave until I calmed down. We talked a little more about what, I did not know but I eventually left.  Needles to say, I never saw him again. When I saw him I thought is this love but I in fact, was wasting time and waiting in vain.