Too Little , Too Late ( Water)

I saw him last week for the first time in over 2 years. He was the one who said he did not see it working out between the two of us and the one who broke it off.  I saw him and felt nothing. Actually I saw him and thought to myself " Water, really, you were sweating THAT?!" I was embarrassed. He asks me if I was engaged yet because any man would be happy with me. He said it with the "I really f*ed this one up this time"  look.  I almost laughed . Luckily for me, I smile a lot  so usually, no one knows what is the motivation behind my smile.  I smiled because in that moment I felt nothing, and I had my "moment" the one every woman hopes for when a man does her wrong .   I looked fabulous. My hair nails shoes and makeup was flawless .  Your boy had on  normal "cook out" attire. If you don't know , its some t-shirt, shorts and sneakers. He had on a white t blue cargo shorts and white air force one's. (Yawn , eye roll ) In a lounge.  I was embarrassed for him.  I finally understood what my older sisters and cousins and aunts meant when they spoke of these moments . He had been punched in the gut because of his own stupidity.   The only thing that would have made this moment better if I was really engaged  and I was at this party with my fiance.  However, Since I'm not engaged , it could not have been any better. He made small talk with me and I answered but definitely more interested in talking to the guy I was texting than him.    He   told me that he is single and his career put a damper on his love life. I told him , everyone makes time for what they want to have time for. Because my love life was great because I was dating and loving it.

The funny thing was , I really was telling the truth.  I looked back  2 years or so ago when I met him. A friend recommended him to me.  She said his only issue was that he  was cheap however, he was working on it.  My friend stated that he had all the things I liked. He was tall educated , a job and was doing well financially.  I met him and we went out to eat. We split the bill ( red flag) .  He had a issue if  I did not answer his calls however,  If he was  unavailable to answer mine, I was to say nothing about it. He lived in another state and when I went to visit him, He  left me in a messy house with no food.   He asked me to clean his house. He went to work and he left me and brought nothing back. He made a sandwich and asked me if I wanted a piece. Really!?  I thought, No I don't want half a turkey sandwich when I just cleaned and organized your dirty house!?  But I said nothing.   And the icing on the cake was , it was too little. You know what I mean. I remember one conversation we had when he said to me that he hated his ex. I said to him, until you let go of that hate, you will never be able to properly love. Boy was  I ever on target.


When I look back ,  I say it was my desperation to be in a relationship at that time allowed me to endure such inconsideration and madness.  It was my longing to be with someone that led me to be treated less than what I deserved by anyone. To my readers I say , DON'T EVER DO THAT! I mean it. I have a lot of moments when  I shake my head and that period in my life is definitely one of them.

Recently, he has been texting, asking how I'm doing and asking about my family and friends . Not to mention he does not know any of my family and we only have one mutual friend so that's just weird.   Its funny how all this attention you are giving me was not given when I was trying to be (for lack of a better phrase) down with you.  Little does he know he cant ever be anything more than a friend and definitely no benefits.   I just have to say that he is too little too late on so many levels.