Excess Baggage (Water)

I always said I hated dating a man who has kids. Now of  course,  I'm knocking on  30's door , so I figure , its about time the "no Kids"  rule  may put me in quite a position. In all honesty, It seems every time I turn around people are having kids , so why should I expect any less from those who are in the dating scene?   I have talked to a few guys  with  children, however  at the end of the day, whenever these men would speak about their children ,  i felt as though my heart would miss a few beats, my chest would get tight and I would gasp for air.   Not to  mention baby momma ;I may have a MI ( heart attack).    This all changed when I met him.


I don't know for the life of me why , I find myself talking to a guy with not one but TWO kids and though it is new, I'm not bothered. I wonder about this.  I wonder if it is because I really like him, or is it because I have been through so much, I'm willing to settle.  I also ask is it because I know where it always ends up anyway, so I might as well get my kicks in and bounce. LOL! I consider these things when I am alone in my room writing.  A part of me hopes that It doesn't work out so that I don't have to meet his kids.   A part of me wonders what would happen if it did . What would my friends and family say if I was a step- mommy or  playing that role?   What would I say  as this was never something I even considered .

Some of you may wonder why I said the mention of baby mother is  something that may cause me to have a heart attack. Well,   to be candid. Us women are just as territorial as men. I watch my friends that do have children who are female and the power they have over their children's fathers. I watch as the  "baby momma's" make unreasonable demands, exert their power thereby  making them watch the children when they want them to , and threaten these men with not seeing their children. The mere thought of it brings me anxiety.

 I hope that my fears are just that and  I will be able to work this out. I have considered some things but I don't know what is going to happen. Perhaps that is  the beauty of life, It's  not what you consider, it is  what it is.