Bye Boy

Would you help a person you did not know well but he was down on his luck but you did not know him well?  Well I have a story about it , like to hear it, here it goes

So I met this guy about a month ago actually almost two.  He was dark not too tall but taller than me. Not too fly but his appeal was the fact that he seemed to understand me for who I was and he was and there did not seem to be hiding anything. He was smart, funny, had a job, no kids and his own apartment and was nice to me.  Unfortunately, being nice to me seems to require a lot for the way men are built these days.   But I digress , For once I considered someone I was seeing a man.  

   We talked for like 2 weeks over the phone before we finally met.  Initially I thought “Here we go”.  At this point between my job, my internship and school I really did not have time for shenanigans and the on-goings that I entertained during the summer.  I refused to call him, text him or communicate in any way unless it was initiated by him.  I just wasn’t into it like that in the beginning.  I had so much going on, I just couldn’t.  Also, I needed to see his interest level and whether or not it was worth it. So, he called  he texted, and said the right things. He was funny, he was corny, he was intelligent and I loved every minute of it.  He even would stay up to talk to me while I walked home from the train station.

We went on a few dates and hung out.  Each time was a lot of fun.  He was a very good kisser.  There was even one time I cooked dinner. Yes –I do cook and yes I cooked for a man.  I hadn’t cooked dinner in about 4 years for a man. For once, I felt like I was on a level playing field with someone.   After 4 weeks I really saw some potential and I began to call and text. Things were going well -until.  There’s always an until

I noticed him asking me about my job and we would joke about the benefits that my job afforded me.   He then told me he was updating his resume because he was looking for a new job. I thought it was great as he was being proactive about being unhappy at work. Maybe a week later, he told me that he was getting laid off. I was worried about it but I figured that it was like my job it wasn’t a big deal.  He could find another position within his job or something. I noticed him getting distant however not rude. He then told me that he would have move out of his apartment.   He then text me saying we needed to take a step back as he did not have time.  

Now as I said before, I was working on my mouth, so for once I did not lose my cool. Honestly, I was sleeping I guess because I’m always exhausted sleeping was more important. I told him that this was not the venue to express said feelings and I was taking a nap and I was going back to do this. We did talk eventually and he said he did not have any time for being in a relationship as he did not know where he was going to live and was about to be out of a job. I understood however, he seemed to want to cut all ties when he asked, what if he asked to stay with me for a month? I said I would have to think about it. I asked him if he wanted me to wait. He said he could not ask that. I haven’t heard from him again.

To me, something is rotten in the state of Denmark. There is so much he is not telling and so much I did not need to know. I wonder if I did the right thing.  All I know is, Bye boy.  

Mr. Green

All about Green 

My next adventure in the online dating scene was A guy who seemed to have it somewhat together . Though I could tell he had a rough childhood , he seemed a little aggressive but still nice . We talked, shared a few laughs via e-mail and I decided he could have my number . 

He said he was a wall street guy . That seemed interesting to me as all he talked was money  green all day . I have never worked in the for profit world so it seemed interesting . Things started to go awry when I asked him what he did for fun . He proceeded to tell me that all he did was smoke weed and play video games .  Really !? Initially I thought he was playing but he insisted he was not and because I had a taste for having hobbies and going somewhere and doing something , he insisted that was a negative . He was all about money green , the green marijuana and his green (and black)Xbox . And I then got green in the face -sick .

I already decided that he was in the garbage when he decided to send me a special message that further solidified that he was crazy . He sent me a picture of his member .  He continued to make me sickly . I told him that I was not about that life and fortunately   , he has left me alone.  

Shhhhhh! Shut it !

Perhaps You Have Said Too Much

Because I am running out of stories and I am slowly getting bored , I decided to try my hand at online dating . I started speaking to one guy and I wasn't that attracted to him from what I saw but he seemed nice . I decided I wanted to hear his voice so I gave him my phone number . We talked on the phone and he asked me why I was single . I told him I meet crazy guys . I mentioned the guy from  computer love and one other previous posting . He then spoke about girls trying to use him for money   , girls not being too interested and his last relationship . He went on and on about how they lived together , why they broke up and how silly he thought it was.  He went on and on and on and even mentioned their sex life . Truth be told, I didn't want to hear all of that . It made me pity him and also think he was effeminate . He then went on to tell me he lived at home , he had friends that he was smarter than and brought up his views on gay marriage .  How would you feel if the first phone conversation you had with a guy was like this ? I mean I listen , I'm good at it but when you are telling me about how dumb your friends are , I'm not sure I really want to be in your circle as you can choose your friends. So if your friends are so bad, why do you continue to have them in your life ?  I'm  thinking he needs a therapist so I told him. 

I then told him he wasn't for me . He proceeded to get whiny and ask why ? His exact words were "why don't you like me ?".  What would you have answered ? I chose not to answer . My thoughts were ,  I just met you and you're asking questions that even I would not ask at this point in my life . 

He told this stranger a lot . I think people should think about what they disclose to people in the beginning . Perhaps he said too much . Wouldn't you agree ? 

Crush the way ...I like it !

Do you remember being young and having a crush? You feel weak in the knees. Your eyes, your heart and face light up when you think about this person. You can't speak when they’re around. You faint internally when that person speaks to you. I live for this feeling. I live to tell a close friend that I saw the current crush today. I live for the butterflies, light flirting and the hope.

Honestly, I feel like every week I have a new crush. I do. Something happens to me. I see someone, they become my crush and I either pursue it or I just let it linger. When I let it linger is the fun part. I talk to the person crack jokes maybe just say a faint hi. It feels great just to have a crush. I think it's the excitement of the secrecy. My private world and imagination run wild when I'm crushing on someone. Some of my best writing pieces were written when I had a crush.

When I pursue a crush the fun starts to dwindle, it loses excitement and the person many times loses luster. I get to know them and I get bored. I get disappointed. Lastly they often become a blog story to entertain my friends and my readers. Crushes for me often end tragically and the magic I once felt is incinerated by reality of what the person is and not what I hoped they would be. So sadly I'm a crush whore. Crushing because sometimes the things I imagined are so much better than what these people turn out to be . How do you feel about crushes?

Work it or work it

Do you ever feel like you are at odds with your love life and your work life? Do you find that sometimes you have to choose?  Somhow you have to decide  whether or not to work it in the bedroom or work it in the board room . I have always heard that there was a balance that you had to find between the two. To be honest, I don’tknow and I have never known how to find that balance.   Usually if I had to choose between work and or school versus a guy I will always choose my job and school.  Is that so horrible?  

This takes me back to a guy I used to do homework with the beginning of my sophomore year of college. I remember, we did more talking than studying. This happened so much so, I got a D on one of my tests in one ofmy classes. I remember being horrified at this fact and telling myself I needed to stay away from this guy because I will flunk out and do poorly and have nothing.  Of course this was extreme.  When I look back , of course there were other things I could have done  but the anxiety of flunking anything and my 19 year old emotional immaturity would not let me figure it out.

As for people who work long hours and have to be away from their families, how do you do it? I have no clue how to do this .I have found this in my behavior as I find myself dating more when school is not in session and when things are stressful at work I withdraw from dating or seeing anyone. These are the times that I go missing or find any excuse not to take anyone seriously.  

I know that one day and one day soon I hope , I will have to give up being in the elements so I’m not the old chick in the club. When/if this happens, I have to figure this balance. What do you suggest? Does anyone else have this struggle ? Let me know 

Leftovers

How do you feel about leftovers? Some people cant stand them, some people think its better the next day . Others think that it depends on what it is. Now, when we talk about men  how do we feel about left overs ? Would you date someone to take them off of someone's hands? Would it matter who it was ? I am currently in that predicament.

After telling a friend of mine about a guy who I was interested in and basically it not happening for many reasons, she suggested I talk to a guy she knew.  She told me he was tall, bald and light skinned with light eyes. I mean im not really into that look, however she said he was a really good guy. She went on to tell me that she used to talk to him in the past however, it did not work out. She went on to share some intamate details about him that she has heard.

She said he was really nice however, he was not  her type. She went on to say that he needs a good girl and he is a good guy. It made me uncomfortable.  She insisted there was nothing between them and there was never anything in between them that mattered to her. She assured me that it did not matter to her. I  could not shake the fact that he had once been connected to my friend in one shape or form.

For me , I am very territorial . Any man who  I have talked to, dated, had their number, been my boyfriend or has had any interest in me at all could not talk to one of my girlfriends without me ending my friendship. Its that simple for me. I guess it is because there are very few guys I have played with so I guess that is why. How about you? Would you pass over your extras on one of your freinds?  If someone wanted to give you their left overs , would you take it? Let me know.

Play By Play : Interception ,Fumble ,Tackle

I forgot all about this one until yesterday when I had a good laugh about it. In honor of the start of football season (and my allegiance to the Jets by association )  I decided to share this one. Have you ever intentionally  or unintentionally tried to lose at something?  On this night I did. 

It was Super bowl Sunday.  Now I will not say which one. I went to a super bowl party at one of my friend’s houses. Despite the fact that I really don't care for any sport , I know the rules and love watching the multi million dollar commercials.  After a few drinks (hmmm no story ends well when that's the start) on the way home I decided I wanted  some physical overtime .  I called my flavor of the month .  He picked up and I could not hear him.  Because he is a serious football fan , I knew he would be at a bar or at a party.  Now because I was drinking, I can admit now , I called him excessively . When I want something and I'm under the influence , I get a tunnel vision that numbs my senses and vision to anything else but the win.   In this instance, it was him. I called one last time. He did not answer. Whoever or whatever had won and I decided that it was time to forfeit, I did not want to play this game - or at least I thought.

Just when I changed my clothes and got ready for bed and closed my eyes,  There was an interception!

 I got a text from his phone.  The text said, "Leave my boyfriend alone you whore ".   Did you gasp? I did.    Why ? Why ? Why?  Why was someone playing on the phone?  I had been blind sighted  and tackled emotionally. I didn’t know there would be another team in this game.  I was extremely angry but I said to myself, what if it's someone playing with me?  But  what if he really has a girlfriend?  He was going to be cursed out as I do not do that. In hindsight he told me he was seeing other people but denied being serious with anyone.  All types of thoughts went through my mind I was tempted to go to his house. I was going to beat him up.    I was so upset that he created a situation where someone called me a whore because of him.   In that moment , I had a moment of clarity . Who was I kidding, he was too big and tall to let me hit him. I would’ve gotten beat up.  Not to mention , I’m not in the habit of hitting people.  In any event I did not go. , I remembered that I had work the next day and I have a pretty good job.  

 I was not going to throw away my career for a guy and from the looks of it , the random alleged girlfriend would have attacked me . Needless to say, My money inspires me to be a better human being. 

So what did I do? Now of course I responded.  I had to.  I was going to stay home but I couldn't let that ride especially because I was drunk.  One thing I absolutely hate is being called a whore or slut or any name along those lines. I work very hard and try to be as moral as possible in order to avoid being called these things however some girl (it's never a man ) feels the need to call me one of these names when their man or someone they like is dealing with me.  How interesting is that? Women often oppress one another with misogynistic terms even sometimes more so than men. I digress -back to the story. 

So I told the girl or whoever was texting me  that I'm not a whore and  they did not know me. The girl told me she was in the picture now and I should back off. I laughed and said it wasn't that serious and she could have him. I then said she should ask her man why I don't know about her.  I’m sure that fixed her because she said nothing else . He then gets on the phone of course and says sorry and the girl was hating. I was so livid. I’m sure I was red .  How dare he just say that. It was such a empty response . Really ?  "Sorry. She’s hating ? " I can laugh now but I was burning up. Was that supposed to make me feel better? I proceeded to let him have it. I proceeded to tell him to grow up and if he wasn’t interested and had someone, that's all he had to say. I was so upset so there were some obscenities in there but that was the gist of it.   He said nothing after I gave him the verbal thrashing, and we did not speak again. Sometimes you got to drop the ball and let the other team have it. 

Now I ask, What would you have done? Would you respond to the girl? Was there a girl at all?  Was it him playing?  I know the answer , was this girl actually his girlfriend?  Hmmmm.  Let me know? Would you have continued after that in order to win one for the team?